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Rev. Ann Robben Dott
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Message
How often are your thoughts or the first words formed in your head kind, loving, encouraging, and supportive? Is your inner critic or internalized parent judging you and yours all the time?
For me it took a few years to learn to listen to myself. Then changing the internal dialogue has taken many more years. Some people call this process reparenting. Replacing the early parental patterns with behavior and words towards oneself that are kind and loving. We repeat what we learn. If your childhood was unpredictable with a parent that was calm one day and enraged the next you learned to live in fear. Never knowing when that one who was supposed to take care of you would blow up causing harm emotionally or physically. Then there is all the added burden that is created by guilt and a child’s tendency to take on responsibility for it thinking it must of been something they did to cause that anger. This pattern can then be repeated by adults who marry an alcoholic or a rage-alcoholic. They may still feel that their partner’s behavior is somehow their fault. So they keep trying to modify their behavior to keep that partner from blowing up at them. This may last until it is so bad there is intervention or something happens to wake them up to see that the other persons behavior really doesn’t have to do with them.
If I love him enough, have dinner ready when it is expected, if I then they will ... Gets transformed into bringing one’s attention back onto oneself and letting the other person be responsible for themselves. This is hard for some women, more than men, in that it entails giving up the belief that you can fix or change your man. It is a stereotype, but it was a very strong belief system for many generations.
But thankfully you have power to change your thoughts. for it is your body and mind and your the spiritual being are in charge of that part of the universe.
Initially my inspiration for this talk was loving your neighbor as yourself. So often we have our attention on others as looking for the compliment to fulfill us or find a balance. We also project onto others what we want for ourselves. Giving a shoulder rub to a loved one, wanting the same in return. Picking out presents for others that we would like ourselves. Translating the golden rule into love your neighbor as you would want them to treat you. One early teacher of mine said there are three kinds of love. Conditional love the I love you because of .... Kind. I love you in spite of your politics or how you do or don’t pick up after yourself kind of love. And the unconditional kind and just because. So we are all working on the just because kind of love. Or probably all three simultaneously in our human experience. And we need to be able to give that kind of love to ourselves and the self acceptance that comes with it. Practicing really seeing people clearly has helped me give presents that are more appropriate to the individual, sometimes in spite of what I may think about their likes and habits. I gave my father a bottle of Scotch from Nevada and it brought back a flood of memories for him of the times he and his best friend would go there and fill up the station wagon with liquor and bring it back home. Lawyers smuggling liquor across state lines. He was very touched and he said, “This from my daughter who thinks I’m an alcoholic.” I shrugged and nodded my head. He is who he is - and clearing away my judgments have helped me to love him. The same is true with yourself and your relationship to both you as spirit and you as a body personality. It is your body after all and your creation. Whether you believe that in the sense of having conscious choice as spirit before you came into this life, that can include choosing your parents for the body type and other genetic abilities or attributes. Or If you believe that you create your body by your current thoughts and feelings towards it now. Whether you treat it like a three year old who needs tight parental control or you are relaxed and trusting. As always awareness is the first step to self acceptance and after acceptance can come change. You have to see the patterns before the habit can be broken if that is the desire.
Love your neighbor as yourself. So if you are going to extend love to others you need to love yourself.
Today's focus is on loving your body. This is where you live and breath and focus your being into this physical reality. How you feel and think about it influences your health and well being. It is valuable to be attentive to what foods make your feel good and which ones sit heavy in your belly or make you sleepy. Do you respect the body’s need for rest cycles? Are you able to sit quietly or do you always need to be ding something? Do you get enough sleep? Some people need more and some need less. Or at times you may need more due to stress or illness. Are you sensitive to your body at initial changes in health or does it take full blown symptoms and discharges to get your attention?
I’ll never forget a woman I know who needed to leave her job. She had stepped in and helped save the business once more but that cycle was complete. It took her breaking her leg for her to take a break and let go of the job for good. How loud do you need the universe to talk to you? I did a clairvoyant reading for a woman once who said her agreement with God was that if it was really important to hit her over the head with it. And because of that concept she did get her answers in that way but she was feeling blocked by it in that she didn’t have the subtler sense of being connected. I had to validate that it did work for her but she could change it to a doorbell or something less dramatic if she wanted.
I worked with a family, 4 preteens and a single mom, as a parent trainer. I was in the home weekdays after school for several hours. They were used to yelling to get each others attention. So one of my tasks was to lower the overall chaos in the environment. When they would yell at me I’d say, “I can’t hear you when you yell at me. It just comes in as SCChhhhhrrrrrr,” Calming the storm created enough peace that they started listening to each other without the volume on high. If you haven’t practiced listening to your body for a while it may be used to yelling to get your attention. So when you do tune in it may be angry or have a back log of things to tell you. You the spiritual being who has just come back , so to speak, to be responsible and attentive to what is up on a very personal level. While you were away there may have been all sorts of pain, insults, and injuries that were stored with in the body that you may now need to clear or release. Another experience you may encounter is feelings of loneliness that the body experience when you the being is absent. Remember those T-shirts; “out of body back in 5 mins.”, all too often true. It is hard to stay present particularly when experiencing pain or other things we consider unpleasant. Our natural response is to shy away from it or to ignore it or cover it up. It is work and practice that teaches us to open into even those experiences.
Taking the responsibility to cleans and clear your body increases the vibration of the body and makes it easier for you as spirit to abide in it. Working with the body helps validate your creation and increases your commitment to being here and present this lifetime. From Louise Hay, “I love myself therefore I take loving care of my body, ....
I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages, I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly responds to me with vibrant health and energy. I love myself; therefore, I provide for myself a comfortable home, one that fills all my needs and is a pleasure to be in. I fill the rooms with the vibration of love so that all who enter, myself included, will feel this
love and be nourished by it.
We all have specific weaknesses in our systems. An area where we tend to get sick or store our stress and tension. I am going to read some affirmations for some typical hot spots for people. As a way to help us to reclaim ownership and bring loving attention to that are of the body. Shoulders Day 8 Eyes Day 1 Lungs Day 13 Back Day 11 Heart Day 15
When you love your body you are creating a vibration that will bring changes that are healing and uplifting.
Allow for negative thoughts or fears to come up. Don’t suppress anything. Recognize them for the limitations that they are and release the old beliefs. As Louise Hay instructs say, “Out! I no longer need you.” Then you may repeat the affirmation.
As old thought come up you may even hear them in the voice of those you learned them from. Remember that those around you only taught you what they new. If your mother did not know how to love herself or your father did not know how to love himself, then it would be impossible for them to teach you to love yourself. They were doing the best they could with what they knew. So simply release any impulse to blame and practice forgiveness. You need to love yourself. Fill up your cup till it overflows. Then you have an abundance for being able to share with others. Nameste.
Meditation
Body scan Ground and center form that place slightly above and behind your eyes let yourself shine as a beacon of light, like a light house reflects light onto hundreds of mirrors your light can illuminate the darkness. Let that light shine into the very corners of your being. You may notice some areas accept the light easily and other areas are harder to penetrate. Now let yourself be aware of one area in your body that could use some more attention and light. It may be one of the ones from the earlier affirmations or any other area. Breath into that part of the body. Breath in forgiveness and out acceptance. 5 mins. Breath in forgiveness and out acceptance Letting your breath, your love and your light flow into that area of the body. Breath in forgiveness and out acceptance. Let your attention switch from the breath to feeling light flowing into that area of the body. Let it expand and flow out past the boundaries of your flesh and as the light expands it can carry away any blocks or restrictions. Feel. or you may see, the light filling that area and expanding out.
5 mins. Let your attention switch from feeling light flowing into that area to filling it with love. Be still or a few long breaths until it is good and saturated. Let the love expand and flow out past that area of focus until it fills your whole body. Sit 3 more mins.
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